My Identity Crisis

A few years ago I went through a minor identity crisis. I was just finishing up school at Elim Bible Institute and College with a minor in Youth Ministry, as had been the plan for the last 9 years of my life, but there was a problem: I felt absolutely no draw to getting a job working in youth ministry… and I felt like God was ok with it. In fact, He was seemingly leading me in the opposite direction, into technology and computers, and to volunteer on the side at my church youth group.

This may not seem like a big deal to you, but it was a complete departure from “normal” for me. I got saved as a young teenager and around the same time I heard God speak to me for the first time and He told me to go to Bible school for Youth Ministry. For me, being a youth pastor was life! There was no Plan B…until God told me to take Plan B. So, here I am 2 years later working for Elim Gospel Church as their Tech and IT Coordinator. In less fancy language, I train volunteers to make Sunday morning sound good and keep viruses off computers… And I love it! 

BUT WHAT ABOUT MY LIFE CALLING OF BEING IN YOUTH MINISTRY!??! I had to ask God that very question and what He told me changed the way I saw my calling and my job; “Caleb, by you doing Tech and teaching youth how to run tech… You will mentor them and help them find their identity in Me.” 

I have been working with a couple guys in my youth group teaching them how to do sound. Recently one of them told me that he had always been interested in doing more with Technology, but he wasn’t sure if he would be good at it or not… He ran sound for me a couple weeks ago on a Sunday morning and I was told by some of the leadership that it was some of the best Live Mixing they had heard in a while. This had absolutely nothing to do with Caleb, it all had to do with the skills that God gave this young man. All I did was accept the task God gave me; to run tech and train volunteers and in doing so, God used me to unlock those skills.

Throughout the Bible we see men and women who had God given tasks to accomplish on Earth, Adam naming animals, Joseph leading Egypt, Joshua taking Canaan, Deborah saving Israel, Anna waiting for the Messiah, the Disciples spreading the Gospel, etc. God always has a path for us to walk. What I am learning is that mine is not what 14 year old Caleb expected but it was one that I know I was born for. When we walk the path God has for us, our lives are bringing Praise and Glory to Him. When I run sound and train the guys from my youth group I know that I am walking the path God has designed me to walk and in doing so worshiping Him.

So, what am I trying to say with all this? First, I want to encourage everyone to dig into God and find the path He designed you to walk. I have seen so many people try to be someone God did not intend them to be, a person who desperately wants to be the newest/hottest worship singer (but sadly as their sound guy, I have to mute their mic… its true… some people just can’t sing) or they want to be the quiet background helper but have strong magnetic personalities that just attracts the lime light. Ask God to show you your path.

Second I want to encourage every person who is in a role or position that does not feel like glamorous ministry: do not forsake your post and never underestimate our creative God. There are moments when God will use our alternate roles and skills to reach the unreachable. I remember one time right out of high school I was working for Youth For Christ and a kid came into the building. I knew him from school and that he was an atheist, so when he came in he immediately told me that if I tried talking to him about God he would leave. Therefore we played pool. After months and many games of pool later, he asked me randomly, “Caleb, how do you know that God is real?” God used a pool table to open a door for me into this kid’s life. So, what is your pool table?

When we learn who we are as Sons and Daughters of God then we are doing what we were created to do and we are at peace and ministry happens! Take some time this week to ask God to reveal more of His grand plan for your life, why you do what you do, and what are some creative ways you can be the avenue with which God will reveal more of Himself to the people around you.


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Caleb got saved on a missions trip to Honduras and from that day on knew that God had him working with youth. God has also used his passion for video games and technology as a means to give him positions of influence over the Elim Community by working with the various tech needs. He graduated from Elim Bible Institute and College in 2013 and is currently working at Elim Gospel Church as their Tech and IT Coordinator. He is also a self-diagnosed genius and super hero … but don’t tell anyone.